Category Archives: Life

My “Where you want to be”

This job? That job? This project? That project? This marketing tactic or that one?

No worries about that “how I’m going to get there” stuff. I’ve figured out where I want to be.

I want to be an influential leader in the American Health and Wellness Advocacy community.

That’s it.

Notice there’s no “doing verbs” like change or sell or build. That’s all “how you’re going to get there” stuff. That’s all stuff I’m doing, but most of it is getting me “where I want to be.” Anything not getting where I want to be should and will stop.

Want the formula? Fill in the blank: “I want to be a ________ (adjective and title/impact) in the _______ (specific community/niche).”

Some more examples:

  • I want to be a well-respected trial lawyer for personal injury plaintiffs in Illinois.
  • I want to be an innovator for the women’s apparel business in the Midwest.  (Hi, Mom.)
  • I want to be an active, present, and retired grandfather to my family.

Your “where you want to be” can and will change. For a while, mine was a “calculated risk-taking entrepreneur in the road-warrior consultant world.”  Now, it’s “an influential leader in the American Health and Wellness Advocacy community.” Later, it will be different.

But, I like where my “where you want to be” is now.

How about you with yours?

Career Advice

Lately, I’ve been giving the same advice. It’s not specific to food or fitness. I’ve found myself giving career advice. And the advice has turned out to be pretty good.

My career advice is a consulting buzzword. Actually, it’s probably more of an aphorism. Here it is:

First, figure out where you want to be [hand gesture]. Then figure out how you’re going to get there [hand gesture].”

Figuring out where you want to be, or what you want to is gold. To a hiring manager, it can explain four jobs in four years. It makes you valuable and attractive. It makes you seem more honest and trustworthy.  More employable.

But the best part of figuring out where you want to be? The “how you’re going to get there” part becomes very clear. You’ll hardly ever be lost.

It’s time to figure out where you want to be. Me included.

The One Thing

If you woke up this morning without an agenda, it’s okay.

You might not be as productive.  You might not feel satisfied later. You might even be a little stressed trying to plan your day on-the-fly.

But feel good about this one thing.  This one thing you can put on your calendar.

This one thing will make you more productive today.  This one thing will make you more satisfied tomorrow.  And this one thing will cut stress from planning your day on-the-fly.

Schedule a time for the end of today to make your agenda for tomorrow.

That’s the one thing.

Which is it, friend?

When your friends tell you they haven’t seen you in a year and miss you, what do you say?  I’ve been busy and I miss you too?

Nope.  No friend wants to hear that.  No friend deserves to hear that.

There are only two answers true friends want to hear.  And two answers you should be willing to give.

  1. I’ve had the best year of my life.  Let me tell you about it.
  2. I’ve worked too hard and don’t have enough to show for it.  Let me hear your thoughts on ensuring I never have to say that to you again.

True friends only want to hear one or the other.  And they’re mutually exclusive.  And there’s no in-between.

 

Siri saves

Talk to text. What a beautiful thing. The spelling might not be perfect. The grammar might not either. And it might look goofy from someone passing by. But it’s fast efficient and really makes you think about what you need to say. If Siri can understand you so will your readers.

Eyes on the road. Period.

Talk to text.

Busy Butt

Busy, busy, busy.

Ask someone how they’ve been. When their response is “Busy”, how does that make you feel? “Ugh” about sums it up.

Ask an old friend to get lunch. When their response is “Busy”, how does that make you feel? Zero empathy about sums it up.

Ask your food delivery guy why it took him two hours.  When his response is “Busy”, how do you feel? Still hungry and aggravated about sums it up.

Hearing someone has been busy or is busy or was busy might be the truth.  But, when do you ever want to hear it?

Adding a “but”, however, on the end of the “Busy” softens the blow. “I’m busy, but good.” “I’m busy this week, but what about next week?” “We were super busy, but went as fast as we could and are really sorry to make you wait.”

Everyone gets busy.  But if you must tell someone about it, make it “Busy, but.”

The Easy “A”

The class that is the easy A is well-known. Physical education electives. Foods 101. The online-only class about dinosaurs.

Those, however, never end up being an easy A. 

The truly easy A is never the class known as the easy A.  The easy A is found in the hard class. The one which requires you to test-in.  To overcome barriers.  To challenge yourself.

If you’re in the business of finding easy A’s, you might succeed.  But it’s gonna be a grind.

Take an AP class, why don’t ya?

Expectation Setting and Timing

Expectations setting is a necessary ingredient to any success relationship. It’s as simple as, “Here’s what I expect.”  But, mastering expectation setting timing might be more crucial than the expectations themselves.

Tell your cab driver you have a sensitive stomach and need him to drive smoothly is okay before the ride begins.  Set that expectation halfway through the ride and…

Tell your girlfriend that you value experiences over material things on your first date, and she’ll be cool with getting less [material] gifts than she has before.  Set those expectations after six months and…

Tell a potential employer that you need to earn X dollars and be home for dinner at Y o’clock during the interview process, and that’s what you’ll get if you’re hired.  Set those expectations during your first review and…

It’s true that you might not agree on what’s expected.  So what?  There’s another cab right behind.  There’s plenty of fish in the sea.  And there’s other good job opportunities out there.

More likely than not, you’ll find a match that can meet your expectations.  If not you can always adjust.  But adjusting expectations, especially from none at all, usually ends in disappointment.

And that feeling is always mutual.

Can we reschedule?

If someone offers to help you, you have two choices:

  1. Take the help now
  2. Decline, defer, or do nothing

This is obvious during interactions with strangers.  A stranger might offer to hold the elevator for you now.  That doesn’t mean you can expect them hold the elevator when you really need it.

It’s less obvious with acquaintances.  An acquaintance might want to do lunch to talk about ideas that could help you and your new business.  That doesn’t mean you can wait a few months to take her up on the offer.  By then, she’s not excited to help you anymore.

It’s even less obvious with close friends.  A close friend might offer to help.  Declining their offer might be insulting to them.  They’re just being a good friend.

So choice two seems pretty crappy, huh?

Take the time to accept offers for help.  Even if it’s not a good time for you, there’s more to lose when you say, “Can we reschedule?”

Contagious Behavior Season

It’s flu season.  Watch out for people that are contagious.  That is, unless they just have contagious behavior.

Communicate with an English teacher or writer and you’ll catch their proper grammar.  That’s contagious behavior.

Hangout with me enough and you’ll catch my healthy and smart eating habits.  That’s contagious behavior.

Meet with highly punctual colleagues and you’ll start being on time, too.  That’s contagious behavior.

One could argue that catching something that’s contagious is not a choice.  But with contagious behavior (good or bad, unfortunately), choosing not to catch it eventually makes you feel like an idiot.  And as the group grows, the contagious behavior becomes an epidemic.

Go catch something good.