Category Archives: Wellness

Erin Jill Andrews

Dear Erin Andrews,

Thank you for being a role model for thousands of young women.  You’re hard-working, smart and successful.  Not to mention, you were extraordinarily resilient in overcoming a horrifying, very public incident.

You’re a true inspiration.

Good things,

Lenny Gale

P.S. Why do you recommend TruBiotics?  When I had an excision of a thrombosed external hemorrhoid, my surgeon, Dr. Isaac Felemovicius, M.D. FACS FASCRS, Adjunct Associate Professor of Surgery, University of Minnesota, gave me some advice.  He said I might want to consider a fiber supplement.  A powder one, like Metamucil.  Not pills.  According to Dr. Issac, as he’s known, pills marketed for digestive health do more harm than good and are just another thing drug companies want you to take one-a-day forever.  Yes, forever.

Aren’t TruBiotics taken in pill form, Erin?

Michael Fred Phelps II

Dear Michael Phelps,

Thank you for recommending Subway sandwiches.  I’ve always wanted to be a swimmer.  Just like you.  Before eating Subway sandwiches, I’d try to swim but would just sink like a rock.  Now, after eating Subway sandwiches like you, I float with ease.

Thanks again,

The Men of Amurica

P.S. Any recommendation for ridding all this belly fat I recently took on?

The Blue Collar Briefcase

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It comes in all shapes and sizes.  But it doesn’t carry a laptop.

Why do nearly all construction workers pack a lunch?

Is it because they save money by not eating out?  Is it because their packed lunch keeps them fuller for longer?  Is it because they can save time avoiding lines at restaurants?

Maybe.  Or, it’s because that’s “what we do”.

For people who work in an office, it’s the same.  The guy who brings a bag of spinach, deli meat and hard-boiled eggs is an outsider.  It’s like a construction worker going to Potbelly for lunch.  It’s just not “what we do”.

Are you gonna have the courage to change “what we do”?

Portion Control: An American Delicacy

Third world countries don’t know “Portion Control”.  Developed Middle East countries don’t know “Portion Control.  Old European countries don’t know “Portion Control”.

Outside of America, drugs are the most relevant context for the phrase “Portion Control”. Pharmaceutical companies and illegal drug dealers alike say, “Use Portion Control or there will be severe side effects.  Bloating, high blood pressure, fatigue, decreased libido, paranoia, withdrawal.  But, if you are able to exercise ‘Portion Control’, you’ll be okay.”

Why has our food in America become like a drug?

Lance, Lou and CVS

These days, when you check out at CVS, there’s an extra step.  “Would you like to make a donation to ALS?”  You can choose $1, $5 or “No, thanks.  Not today”.

Unfortunately, CVS’s checkout screen doesn’t show you much.  There’s no video like this one about Mike Winston and Winning for Winston.  Or this one about Steve Gleason from the NFL.  Or an excerpt from Susan Spencer-Wendel’s book.  When you’re asked for a donation to ALS, it’s just small text and a blurry ALS logo.

Everyone knows someone who died from cancer.  So, there’s a connection.  With ALS, Lou Gehrig might be all they know.

Are you willing to feel connected to Mike?  Or Steve?  Or Susan?

Please don’t say, “No, thanks.  Not today.”