Monthly Archives: July 2013

I didn’t listen much in religious school

But there was one story that stuck.  And it has nothing to do with religion.

A small town of 1,000 had a well.  This well was their only source of water.  It would provide water forever if, and only if, 1,000 people stopped by daily to take some water.  If less than 1,000 people took water, the well would dry up forever.

Since there were 1,000 people in the town, everyone knew their job: Go to the well every day and take some water.  Otherwise, the well would dry-up forever.

One day, a family of 20 moved to the small town.  It was big news.  And everyone thought the same thing.  “Maybe I can take a day off from stopping by the well?  My absence won’t dry the well because we have enough people now.”

What happened?  Everyone took the day off, and the well dried-up forever.

In the real world this happens, too.  At elections, people say, “My vote doesn’t count.”  In business, people say, “We can’t possibly destroy in the ozone layer.”  And, in fundraising, it’s there, too, “Someone else will donate.”

Let that sink in for a sec.

Ready?  Ok.

Today, there’s a serial killer out there.  The ALS Killer.  We need to stop him.  And everyone needs to do their part.  When one person says, “My donation doesn’t matter,” we all face the consequences.

Join Team Dexter.


Needing Dexter

There’s a serial killer out there.  He’s like someone Dexter would hunt.

First, he stalks his prey and punches them in the arm.  He does it nightly.

Then, he goes for the back and legs.  It’s just one giant punch, so he never gets caught.

Finally, he kidnaps his weakened victim.  The victim is placed in a dark cell, alone, and faces the same nightly assault.  The serial killer’s trade mark?  He’s compassionate, in a way.  His victim gets an HDTV with surround sound.  The channels are of his friends and family speaking directly to him.  He can see them and hear them.  Loud and clear.  What’s more, his family and friends can see him through a surveillance camera (no sound).

The nightly assault continues for about five years.  Sometimes more, sometimes less.

That’s some crazy Dexter shit, huh?  Well, the serial killer calls himself ALS.

The chance you’re next is quite small.  But, are you comfortable roaming the streets knowing he’s out there?

I’m not.  And neither is Mike Winston.


Lance, Lou and CVS

These days, when you check out at CVS, there’s an extra step.  “Would you like to make a donation to ALS?”  You can choose $1, $5 or “No, thanks.  Not today”.

Unfortunately, CVS’s checkout screen doesn’t show you much.  There’s no video like this one about Mike Winston and Winning for Winston.  Or this one about Steve Gleason from the NFL.  Or an excerpt from Susan Spencer-Wendel’s book.  When you’re asked for a donation to ALS, it’s just small text and a blurry ALS logo.

Everyone knows someone who died from cancer.  So, there’s a connection.  With ALS, Lou Gehrig might be all they know.

Are you willing to feel connected to Mike?  Or Steve?  Or Susan?

Please don’t say, “No, thanks.  Not today.”

Rhyme time

Slow and steady wins the race.  Hearing that from you makes me want to punch you in the face.  But, usually you’re right, don’t you know.  Here’s some examples I’d like to show.

The guys in high school who got lots of girls cause he was a skater.  Now he brings you and your hot wife your dinner cause he’s your waiter.

Today there’s a savvy web spammer who beats you in google page rank.  Tomorrow you’ll have built something special, and of value, so will be laughing all the way to the bank.

Your friend that got married before you is no longer is your playmate.  But fast forward 20 years and they’re back on JDate.

Rhyming is weird like a bump on a log.  But publishing daily equals slow and steady, and that’s the plan for this blog.

Which way to Oz?

As the pressure builds and stress increases, sometimes you have to laugh.

When my girlfriend tells me she has earned the right to take the elevator down three floors because she works out every day, I have to laugh.  Didn’t she read the athlete and the elevator?

When my condo’s management spends 200k on a new fitness center, only to, without first  benevolently communicating concerns to the residents, remove half the weights and machines because of a single resident’s (out of 350 units) over-sensitive noise issues, I have to laugh.  How could you guys be so dense?

When some of my best friends are still slaving away for an IT consulting firm working on meaningless projects during all their waking hours, I have to laugh.  Why are you wasting your life to make someone else rich?

No, situations like these aren’t inherently funny.  In fact, when I’m tired or stressed, little things like this are, at first, aggravating.  Infuriating, even.  But, what’s the point in feeling that way?

It’s like a fork in the road.  One way is “get angry”.  The other is “have a laugh”.  And when “have a laugh” path seems the toughest, most uphill, that’s when it’s most important to go that way.

Are you one of those people who takes the “get angry” route?




NOTE: I can’t stand it when people use the term LOL.  But, I have laugh at the irony of it being the only substitute to me actually doing my “have to laugh” laugh.

Where have you been?

Let’s grab lunch?  Wanna get a beer?  C’mon, man, I miss you.

“I can’t, man.  This project is really consuming me.”

Oh, okay.  You’ve been working on the project for a year now.  Can’t wait to see what you created.

“Dude, it’s IT consulting.  We work with huge companies on big teams, day and night.  So, we obviously create stuff, but not sure what I’d show you.”

Oh.  That does sound consuming.

You want to be liked?

Dear Facebook friends and acquaintances,

I tried to say this subtly.  And it’s just me looking out for you.  So, I’ll say it again.  More directly this time.

If you have a fan page that you want someone to like, like their page first.  Then, ask for a like.

I’ll say it even more clearly.  Like my fan page, first.  Then, ask me to like yours.  Not the other way around.

Give then take, people.  You’ll be liked a lot more.

Your morning news

Where do you get your news in the morning?  Really, though.  What’s the first thing you check when you wake up?

Do you turn on the Today Show?  Do you scroll through Facebook?  Do you check your email?

Getting your news in the morning feels good.  It’s energizing and wakes you up.  Almost as much as making your own, that is.

It’s easy to say “They don’t get it”

Your jokes that killed it at one wedding speech but bombed at another.  Your music that moved millions in Nashville but was laughed at in Portland.  Your software that made magic in one demonstration but was lackluster in another.

When you’re on stage and fail, the first reaction is “They don’t get it.”  And that may be true.  So, why were you there in the first place?  You’re doing the same material for a different audience.

Don’t you get it?