How to find (and be satisfied with) the one

A new apartment. A spouse. A new job. A car. (Even, a blender, as I’ve found.)

There are a lot of choices. And certainly, you don’t want to make the wrong decision.

But you also don’t want to hold out for something that doesn’t exist. (There will always be the price of admission.)

So here’s how you make a pick.

Step 1) Figure out what you want. Seems obvious, but if you aren’t certain that you want a husband or condo or in-house job, you’re wasting your time looking.

Step 2) Figure out by when you want it. Examples: You want to be married by the time you’re 32. You want a new gig by Q1 of next year. You need to close on a new place before your current lease is up in six months.

Step 3) Measure your window. How long have you given yourself? Do the math. In the last example, you have six months.

Step 4) Divide the aforementioned window by three. Six months ’til you need to be out of your apartment? You one-third window is two (months).

Step 5) Say no to all options during this one-third window. See as many options as you can.

Step 6) After the one-third window has passed, say yes to the one that’s better than anything else you saw.


You just bought a house or found a spouse or landed a job.

And you found the best of what’s out there with time to spare.