Category Archives: Writing

Why “Do not disturb” is the best iPhone feature

I originally thought the “Do not disturb” function on iPhones was kind of neat, similar to staying in a hotel.

Here’s how I was wrong:

The “Do not disturb” function is better than neat.

It’s pure gold.

Turn it on and your phone will not ring or vibrate unless…

  • Someone calls twice back-to-back (potential emergency).
  • The caller is on your Favorites list (potential mom emergency).

So when your phone DOES ring, it’s a worthy interruption.

One worth losing your train of thought.

One worth stepping out of a big meeting (something that actually makes you seem quite important).

One worth your time.

Yes, calls and texts are all received (unlike Airplane Mode). You just aren’t interrupted.

And that why, people, I usually have to call you back.

I’m on “Do not disturb.”

I’m getting shit done.

I’m Lenny Fucking Gale.

Who are you?

Open letter

Dear old friend,

You have a gift.

You know what it is.

Please do it every day and share it with the world.

It doesn’t need to be a home run every time. Doubles, singles, even strikeouts, are okay.

But please, old friend, you know who you are and know your gift.

Share it.

Share it every day.

Your old friend,


What gets your email opened?

The subject.

What gets your email read?

The subject.

What gets your email read again?

The subject.

So, what do you spend most of your time writing?

Luxury cars for everyone

Need gas? Fill your tank. Low grade fuel ensures worst performance and shortest running life. Premium grade fuel is the opposite. High performance and longest running life.

I’ve never owned a luxury car, so have never fueled with premium. So what? I still get from point A to point B. And if my car craps out, I’ll buy a new one.

Your body’s relationship with food is similar.

Good news is that everyone was born with luxury body. Bad news is that nobody can purchase a new one once it craps out.

So, what grade of fuel do you use?

Staring efficiency in the face

I like to write. It’s like painting my thoughts on a college-ruled canvas.

My writing has gotten me:

  • Scholarships.
  • Jobs.
  • College admission.
  • Internships.
  • Relationships.
  • Respect.
  • Trust
  • Joy.

I like writing the natural way: By hand.

Brain to left hand to pen to paper.

But, one day, I heard Robert Smigel, of all people, talk in a podcast about how he switched from handwriting to typing. He said:

Writing with a pen is romantic.  But, then, in the early 90’s, I made the switch to computer. It’s so much better, faster, more efficient.

So I gave it a try. I gave up my pen and notebook and just typed.

Similar to what happened to SNL in the late 90’s, the product started to suck.

Plus, writing wasn’t enjoyable anymore. One-handed art became two-handed torture.

So I’m back to writing by hand. Brain to left hand to pen to paper.

No, I can’t write as much. And I can’t write as efficiently.

But I’m writing as I’m meant to.

Writing as a lefty.


I asked you to introduce yourself to me and the rest of my readers. Even if you’re one of my good friends, I’d love if you left a note. (All I want for X-mas…)

Also yesterday, I said I was taking a break. But I’m struggling. I can’t step away.

So who benefits when you don’t take a break?

  • Not you. Perhaps there’s immediate, short-term satisfaction in never taking a break. But, long-term results will suffer. Brett Favre, for example.
  • Not your customers, clients, fans. Yes, they all want you all the time. But they also want you at your best. Motivated, energized, inspired.

Moral of the story? Take a break.

Do what you want with my questions

I ask a lot of questions. Many of them are rhetorical. But I sometimes I really want some answers. So here are a few questions I’ve been stuck on:

  • Why do hockey players look smaller on TV compared to their size when you see a game in-person?
  • Where does all the poop go?
  • Have you ever purchased an e-book? If yes, how’d it go?
  • Have you ever seen Jerry Seinfeld perform stand-up live? What’d you think?
  • What do I do about my fear of being an insignificant speck in a vast universe?
  • What’s a good set of wireless headphones?
  • Why do I crave attention but hate being the center of it?

If you’re bored with the song you’ve been singing, aren’t your fans bored, too?

Quality endures

Another reason expecting quality is best in the long run.

Facebook announced an update to their News Feed algorithm this week to focus on high quality content. They aim to serve you more news and less “meme photos.”

That’s good news for publishers, like lifeisnoyoke (wink), that have always believed in quality. What’s more, articles from the past will now resurface in News Feeds to “keep the conversation going” for longer.

Moral of the story? Expect better content on your Facebook News Feed. And expect better quality of yourself.

Three three three

The fourth tennis ball in a can. The bonus mini pen to make a four-pack. The fourth point in a thesis. The fourth project team member. Four downs to score. Ménage à quatre?

Why is #4 such a curse?

I lose less tennis balls when I use a 3-pack can. I hang on to pens longer when there’s just three. People absorb information better in sets of three. My project teams were great with three. Football teams are more likely to get a first down if they don’t get to 4th. Ménage à trois gets weird when you add another.

When isn’t three enough? And optimal? And more efficient?