Category Archives: Friends & Family

My sister is getting married tomorrow

I can’t imagine:

  • How she’s feeling now.
  • How her twin sister is feeling now.
  • How her father is feeling now. And her mother. And her grandparents. And, of course, her fiancé.

But why try to imagine what’s going inside of everybody’s head?

The goings on in mine are crystal clear.

So ‘effing proud, Lana.

All my love.

P.S. Your wedding gift is en route.

Thanks, Doorman

A good doorman:

  • Greets people he knows he knows.
  • Helps strangers with no hesitation.
  • Asks “How was your day?” to anyone who might want to be asked.
  • Smiles.
  • Appreciates his job.
  • Appreciates you.
  • Moves around during work.
  • Talks with hand gestures.
  • Lends a hand.
  • Keeps secrets.
  • Talks to the mailman.
  • Likes dogs.
  • Dresses well.
  • Laughs a lot.
  • Shows patience.
  • Plays on your team.
  • Cares.

Alas, not all doormen are good doormen.

Might as well lead by example.

Being aware of where

Of the five “W” question words, “where” might be the most useless.

Strangers use where. “Where is the closest McDonald’s?”

Interviewers use where. “Where did you go to college?”

Deal shoppers ask where. “Where should I buy my Vitamix?”

Because “Where?” is so easy. It’s informal. But, with people, it gets you nowhere.

If you really want to get to know someone, figure out how to replace “Where?” with “What?”

What was your college experience like? What do you like to eat around here? What are your thoughts on the Ninja Ultima?

“What” is where it’s at.

What do you think?

The Grateful Dead Channel

On Sirius XM is hardly a radio station.

There’s no variety. No commercials. No zany DJ’s.  It’s just the Grateful Dead.

There are other stations that play The Dead. But they also play Zeppelin, Allman Brothers, and U2. So if you want to hear some Grateful Dead, and you don’t want to risk having to flip away from, say, the Eagles, where do you go? Station 23. The Grateful Dead channel.

There, you’ll also find a great example of how to build loyalty, longevity and trust in your business and personal relationships. Better to be The Grateful Dead channel than Classic Rewind.

My “Where you want to be”

This job? That job? This project? That project? This marketing tactic or that one?

No worries about that “how I’m going to get there” stuff. I’ve figured out where I want to be.

I want to be an influential leader in the American Health and Wellness Advocacy community.

That’s it.

Notice there’s no “doing verbs” like change or sell or build. That’s all “how you’re going to get there” stuff. That’s all stuff I’m doing, but most of it is getting me “where I want to be.” Anything not getting where I want to be should and will stop.

Want the formula? Fill in the blank: “I want to be a ________ (adjective and title/impact) in the _______ (specific community/niche).”

Some more examples:

  • I want to be a well-respected trial lawyer for personal injury plaintiffs in Illinois.
  • I want to be an innovator for the women’s apparel business in the Midwest.  (Hi, Mom.)
  • I want to be an active, present, and retired grandfather to my family.

Your “where you want to be” can and will change. For a while, mine was a “calculated risk-taking entrepreneur in the road-warrior consultant world.”  Now, it’s “an influential leader in the American Health and Wellness Advocacy community.” Later, it will be different.

But, I like where my “where you want to be” is now.

How about you with yours?

Which is it, friend?

When your friends tell you they haven’t seen you in a year and miss you, what do you say?  I’ve been busy and I miss you too?

Nope.  No friend wants to hear that.  No friend deserves to hear that.

There are only two answers true friends want to hear.  And two answers you should be willing to give.

  1. I’ve had the best year of my life.  Let me tell you about it.
  2. I’ve worked too hard and don’t have enough to show for it.  Let me hear your thoughts on ensuring I never have to say that to you again.

True friends only want to hear one or the other.  And they’re mutually exclusive.  And there’s no in-between.


Busy Butt

Busy, busy, busy.

Ask someone how they’ve been. When their response is “Busy”, how does that make you feel? “Ugh” about sums it up.

Ask an old friend to get lunch. When their response is “Busy”, how does that make you feel? Zero empathy about sums it up.

Ask your food delivery guy why it took him two hours.  When his response is “Busy”, how do you feel? Still hungry and aggravated about sums it up.

Hearing someone has been busy or is busy or was busy might be the truth.  But, when do you ever want to hear it?

Adding a “but”, however, on the end of the “Busy” softens the blow. “I’m busy, but good.” “I’m busy this week, but what about next week?” “We were super busy, but went as fast as we could and are really sorry to make you wait.”

Everyone gets busy.  But if you must tell someone about it, make it “Busy, but.”

Lowercase Free

So there’s a lot of FREE stuff out there.  And much of it is easy to find.  Why?  Because the easy-to-find FREE stuff isn’t really free.

But what about the hard-to-find free stuff?

Like laughing your ass off with your friends.  Or relaxing with your lover.  Or reminiscing with your family.

Yes, people making a living facilitating that free stuff.  Going to a movie, or on vacation, or dinner is not FREE.  But the stuff that comes with it is.  And while it’s sometimes hard-to-find, isn’t that the best kind of free?